Keep on Keeping on

“Nor the effeminate, nor liers with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor railers, nor extortioners, shall possess the kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:10

Well, I hit six months of sobriety on the 2nd of this month. I have been too occupied with making memories with my children in the mountains of New Hampshire to really stop and think about it. I spent ten years drinking until I passed out. I am still working through the steps of AA. Being away from home has been good, although I feel as if I have a lot of responsibility looming over my head with school and finances but dont we all.

I will probably return to work here in a few weeks. The time spent away from work and with my kids all day everyday has been a hard adjustment and a learning experience. I hope in the very least for them it has mended any of the last strained relations I had with them as a result of my selfish behavior. I want to believe it has, I want to believe that when I go back they will miss me as much as I will them. It has really opened my eyes to how much I have missed out and how they could have potentially lost a father. How could I be so stupid?

Nothing changes if nothing changes. With four kids I would be hard pressed to have a drinking career as it is, but maybe if I was ever a “normal drinker” it wouldnt be a problem.  I absolutely know that I can never be a “normal drinker” however, I fully accept and am happy that is the case. Why am I happy about it? Because it has afforded me the chance to humble myself and grow and be more aware than I ever have been. I use to think I could never have fun without being messed up, now I could never fathom being messed up and missing out on a day in my life. I can’t do my best to serve God being drunk. The thing I can thank God for right now is that I have survived, and so have my kids. They don’t ever have to know what their dad is like drunk and I can be present for EVERYTHING in their lives.

We can’t change the past, yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn’t here yet, nothing about the future is set in stone. Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.

Another thing I want to get off my chest pertains to the Lord’s Prayer. So the last line, “for thine is the kingdom, the power,  the glory…” was an add on by a heretical “pope” (I believe it was JP2 or Paul VI). Why are we adding (or taking away in some versions of Bible) to what our Lord, a perfect God gave us? That line never existed in it’s original God given form. Why are we changing what is already perfect?

“You shall not add to the word that I speak to you, neither shall you take away from it: keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” Deuteronomy 4:2

God Bless BJS!

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